Tips for Flirting
by TheWeirdOneCH
Summary: How can you seduce a superhero wannabe? Sam is happy to give Danny some of her advice. FunxSuper. Pitch Pearl. T for cursing.


**Hope you like this little oneshot :)**

* * *

**Tips for flirting**

Sam was watching him with a flabbergasted expresion, and it was a bit unnerving.

"Let me get this straight" She said, liking her lower lip a little "You _want_ my advice to..." She paused to take a deep breath "TO FUCKING _FLIRT_ WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING SUPERHERO WANNABE!".

"_Yeah..."_ What else could he say? The whole situation was embarrassing, but it wasn't his fault that Phantom was so _appe__a__ling_. Ok, so one day he saw the little hero in his nonexistent clothes, lusted him, crushed on him and ended up loving him. Damn.

"Ok" And she instantly changed her demeanour to act like a normal girl and not so _Sam_, he almost could see the hearts in her eyes. Women were strange.

"So dude, I mean Sam, what is, like, what I need ta do?" She gave him the evil eye, and he knew he was screwed.

It was times like this that he cursed Clockwork with all his might.

WOWOWO

**T****ip One** "Excite him"

"Isn't it, like, a bit earlier" The raven haired boy blinked.

"But you always go with fuc-flow, dude" Sam gave her meat-loving boyfriend an unimpressed look.

"It will help him realise he likes you, it's how all normal boys work" This sounded kinda familiar "Make him lust you, crush on you and then love you".

"Are we talking about the same Phantom here?" If he remembered correctly his future boyfriend was not normal in any twisted way of the word "He is, like, demisexual".

"You know each other since he was born" She stated the obvious "Just walk out of the shower without nothing, you can say that you didn't know he was in there" She smiled "See, nothing to lose".

"Just the possibility of having kids" Tucker received a punch in the face thanks to Sam.

"Not helping Foley"

Later that day, in Fenton Works.

"Ho-Holy Shi-ships other half, what ar-are you do-doing?" Screeched the hero of Amity Park in both embarrassment and lust. His flushed face was in different shades of green.

"Oh I was taking a shower, didn't know ya were home" Phantom nodded, turned intangible and flew to their room.

The soft moans coming through the door were worth it.

WOWOWO

**Tip Two** "Make him laugh"

"And she said, no you don't, and he said, I hate monkeys" Everyone was on the floor rolling in laughter, Fenton wiped his eyes before looking at the direction of Superhero.

He was crying.

"Wha-What!?" He blinked "_Phantom?_"

"They inju-injured a po-poor and innoc-innocent a-animal" His tech friend put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nice try" And with that Fun Danny ran to comfort his doppelgänger.

WOWOWO

**T****ip ****Three** "Complement his cooking _even if it tastes like something a rabbit __sh__ould eat_"

"How does my cookies taste?" The ghost boy asked with his cape flowing on because of some weird ghostly shit. The apron hugged his hips and waist nicely.

Love the white and green apron... note that for bedroom time. He hated to take a shower after cleaning his room after all.

"Wow dude, like, it tastes orgasmic, like cum" Phantom looked at him for a few minutes before saying.

"It is slightly salty then" Fun stumbled back in bewilderment.

"How in fucking hell do ya know how cum tastes like?" The two blinked at each other and Hero frowned. A second later an ectoblast missed his crotch by a few inches.

"I find it highly inappropriate to express your sexual adventures with every living and non-living creature in a drunk stupor to _me _while I am trying to help you. _Fenton_." He fucked up, he was pretty conscious of that fact even before the glowing teen flew off.

Good one, Fenton.

WOWOWO

**Tip Four** "Make him jealous"

"That's a big NO, Sam".

"But why-" She was interrupted by an explosion...

A very furious, powerful and jealous Phantom tackled Skulker, that was wearing a signature red hat, and make quit a lot of examples of what would happen with the taller Danny if he dared to cheat whether they were or weren't together yet.

"Do I even, like, need ta explain".

WOWOWO

**Tip Five** "Talk to him about things he likes _hi, encyclopedia_"

"Dude, I found this cool-" Hero was on the floor, tears were falling from his emerald eyes "What happened?" It was the first time he saw him in a such _broken_ mood.

"They say I'm a waste of space, a monster, a freak, a failure of nature, some-something that shoul-shouldn't e-ex-exist" The young ghost was surprised to see his friend actually angry, not, furious would be a better word to describe the rage coming in waves from the usually calm and fun dude.

"Who was the idiot who DARED to said that to you" Now Fenton was scaring him, and in his mind prayed for the poor soul that was going to face the Evil himself.

"Spectra an-and Dash".

A week later the beat up body of a black spirit were found in the GZ. It was pretty incoherent.

Dash never discovered what hit him, only that_ it hurt__s like hell_.

WOWOWO

**Tip Six** "Gave him a gift _and no, not that kind of toys, you idiot_"

"Hey, Phantom" He smiled at him, thing that he had been doing since the incident with a certain ghoul and jock "I want to gave you this" It was his grandmother's pet rock.

"Amazing!" Hero gave him a huge hug and was rubbing in his thigh a little but maybe it was his imagination.

Yeah, only his imagination.

WOWOWO

**Tip Seven** "Ask him out"

"Dude, ya wanna-".

"Park, six pm, meteor shower, don't be late" The super powered teenager kissed his cheek and went to fight another villain.

"Cool" He then called his female friend.

"Hi" The goth greeted.

"Thanks for the tips Sam" He could feel her smile in the other end.

"You are welcome" She responded "Oh! And don't forget to use protection" Fenton laughed.


End file.
